tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32555550017722529022024-03-15T18:12:12.122-07:00Doo Doo Bloggin'Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-11537671881337349872024-02-22T06:56:00.000-08:002024-02-22T06:56:56.743-08:00what about the feet?<p>Over the last year or so, I've become really attached to elevating my feet and legs whilst pooping. I didn't seek this out. My partner got a cute little yellow trash can for our bathroom, and it sits right in front of where legs go for poopers. One time, I was having a hard time getting it all out, and so I gave it a whirl. It was the right height to improve the angle. I guess I liked it and particularly for the big morning dumps, I starting making use of it. Gradually, gradually, it's gotten so dumping without elevating the feet just seems stupid, and when I go somewhere and can't elevate, it's like, what the hell?</p><p>I stand here before you a changed man. I now enjoy for to have the better angle while dumping. Maybe you do too?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-83159042959546866922024-01-26T06:06:00.000-08:002024-01-26T06:06:21.097-08:00strong stuff<p>I made a chocolate sourdough cake this week. I make a lot of cakes but I rarely ice or glaze them. Who needs to add sugar to a cake? Eww.<br /></p><p> I thought I'd be entertaining, so I iced this one. Chocolate icing. It was okay. I ended up having a Covid rebound from two weeks ago and didn't host anyone. So I ate a lot of the cake. It was pretty good in the end.<br /></p><p>I've noticed my stool has been particularly dark this week, and I'm pretty sure it's the chocolate from the cake and icing. How cool! Maybe I should ice my cakes more to make this effect more a more regular part of my life?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-8748512121513164402023-10-11T16:57:00.003-07:002023-10-11T16:57:17.860-07:00genuinely don't know<p>So, what, does fruit make you poop or something?</p><p>Or vegetables?</p><p>I have never understood this.</p><p>Dried? Fresh?</p><p>Everything makes you poop, it's such a weird thing to think about.</p><p>Huh?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-34033651199966047502023-10-04T16:37:00.000-07:002023-10-04T16:37:06.574-07:00KFM<p>I really like conceptual versions of the talking game "kill, fuck, marry". Doing it with actual people is weird mostly, especially if you know them, but with concepts it's a great game.</p><p>I realized today that to me, the ultimate KFM trio is: piss, shit, vomit</p><p>So I'll put it to you. Which would you marry, which kill, and which fuck? Hmm??<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-82598902274832439952023-07-18T14:22:00.005-07:002023-07-18T14:22:33.411-07:00how swampy was my ass<p>I think I've said it before on here, but I don't really know what the phrase "swamp ass" is meant to apply to. I tend to think about it as those times where you take a shit so gnarly that it feels as though nothing can clean your butt hole. </p><p> I had such an experience today right before I was leaving the apartment. I was out for a couple hours, and when I got home, the first thing I did was wash my butt in the shower and change my underwear. I feel 95% certain that my butt was in fact pretty clean and I had nothing to worry about. But that feeling of murkiness, of dare, I say, swampiness, just wouldn't leave me alone until I took things to another level. </p><p>I really hate changing my clothes in the middle of the day, so it really takes a big commitment for me to do this. But such was the magnitude of the swamp today. </p><p>I hope that your ass is grass rather than swamp, that's my hope for you.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-79037953992086263992023-05-30T11:00:00.007-07:002023-05-30T11:00:48.375-07:00new methods<p>Might I recommend that when you have to verbally indicate that you're going to defecate, say: "I'm gonna go see what kind of stool is in my colon"<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-18234270620498071032023-05-26T08:09:00.004-07:002023-05-26T08:09:58.629-07:00a songs and a report<p>Okay so I wrote a first draft of a verse the other day for a play on "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" that would be called "Blood Gets In Your Stool":<br /></p><p style="margin-left: 80px; text-align: left;">They <br />Asked me how I knew <br />The color of my poo <br />Maybe it was blue? <br />As I learned in school <br />Always keep your cool <br />When blood gets in your stool</p><p style="text-align: left;">tbh I didn't check and make sure that fits the form of the original but I'm just gonna leave it here, feel free to add to it</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;">ALSO I can report that my shitting has gone a bit haywire of late. Instead of the status quo of one large turd sesh in the morning and 1-2 others the rest of the day, they're all smaller. Not loose per se, but it's like the total mass that can come out at a time is reduced. I have a number of visits to the loo a day where I have large gas and a small bit of solid stool emerges, or many a moderate amount. My butt hurts cause it's been so frequent and much wiping. I don't love this new model and I hope it ends soon and I can poop bigger poops again. <br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-42671358796950013802023-04-18T07:44:00.001-07:002023-04-18T07:44:24.395-07:00shart report<p>Two notes on sharts:</p><p>1.) Last month, I had the pleasure of driving through, and then back through, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shartlesville,_Pennsylvania">Shartlesville, PA</a>. What a joy!</p><p>2.) I had a big party last week cause I turned a round number age. Towards the end, I was jumping up and down as some energetic music was happening nearby. I did one jump and some stuff started happened back in the butt area... did I just shart? I wasn't sure for a sec but it seemed safe so I kept jumping.</p><p>~15 seconds later, the same feeling again. Oh no. Assessing... no we're okay but hey let's go sit on a toilet, huh?</p><p>And so friends, I did not shart my pants at my party, but I can closer than I have in many years. Bold new decade!<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-68583439600989043332023-03-17T07:51:00.003-07:002023-03-17T07:51:22.703-07:00let's say "not vacant"<p>It's helpful when a restroom has a little "vacant/occupied" slider that goes with locking the door, maybe in a stylish two-color red & green thing. Helps you know how to approach the situation.</p><p>For me, when a bathroom tells you it's occupied, I can't help, I CANNOT HELP but think of the word occupied as "<b>kaka-pied</b>", as in a pie of kaka is being applied to it. </p><p>Occupied? Occupied with what? Occupied with kaka! Specifically, a pieful of it!<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-48054747501681353812023-02-22T07:33:00.003-08:002023-02-22T07:33:24.533-08:001 dump is enough 4 me?<p>A very strange recent pattern has been that instead of my normal 2-4 dumps a day, I've had a couple days, not that many days, but a couple days, where I only have one dump and it's in the morning and it's huge. Not like one unbroken strand huge, but just a very large volume of stool. </p><p>I can't say I am not excited about this trend. </p><p>One way I can measure that it's happening is by the newspaper in the bathroom. I can tell it's been a day since I've read anything in it. </p><p>I really think it's a superior model to dump a medium amount several times a day than to take enormous dumps sporadically. But what do I know? I'm just a dumper, not a doctor.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-61865750314066686052023-02-09T08:54:00.002-08:002023-02-09T08:54:09.446-08:00which animal?<p>I was walking by a small park near my apartment yesterday and I smelled a familiar smell. I didn't see any horses but I for sure smelled some horseshit. There was a little visual evidence of some to back this up. Horseshit it was!<br /></p><p>Having not smelled any horse feces in a while, I thought, wow this actually smells pretty good. I liked to hang out with horses when I went to summer camp as a tween and horses bring back some good memories for me, so maybe it's more that than anything chemical. Though, if a horse is mostly eating grass and hay, I would suspect that stool would smell much better than say, dog or cat food being mostly meat. </p><p>So I wonder, what are the best smelling animal feces? And I don't necessarily mean the least bad smelling, I mean what kinds of shit smells are most pleasant in someway?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-8523472564882132662022-12-16T12:07:00.005-08:002022-12-16T12:07:33.403-08:00purry poo<p>I mean what's the dang deal with poo-pourri? I just don't get it. Let it smell like a doo doo. What dishonesty is this? Can't we be happy to each other and our bodies? Let's deescalate.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-33327512906870667592022-12-04T10:31:00.001-08:002022-12-04T10:31:33.518-08:00choco sesame<p>One of the shits I took this morning had a fairly thick and paste-like consistency. When I went to wipe my butt, the first wipe really had this paste quality, and I looked back (I usually do). It had the color of a combination of chocolate and sesame, and I thought boy that would be delicious eh? A choco-sesame paste that you could spread on things or eat right out of the jar. And I was right. That would be delicious.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-34671525457636229442022-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:002022-11-30T09:47:08.502-08:00PPB: dunkeroos<p>Earlier today I thought about pissing. What if we thought about peeing as dunking pee in water and other pee? Like what if the most important part of peeing were the moment of impact of fluids? And every moment of it was like oh I just wanted to put this pee in this other liquid, as if you were running a test? What about that, huh?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-45929776481857575962022-10-15T08:15:00.001-07:002022-10-15T08:15:03.460-07:00thumbs down<p>An odd thing in the last couple days is that when I wipe my bum, I have gotten a small bit of poo on the side of my thumb. </p><p>My technique has not changed, and I think it's just the case that the current crop of craps has been coming out in such a way that maybe it goes higher up in my butt crack? I don't expect this to last very long, but it is interesting to be aware of the cycle that you're on in your excretion, made clear by something like evidence on your thumb. </p><p>Don't worry, I've been washing my hands twice. <br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-80699009813042553512022-10-01T08:19:00.005-07:002022-10-01T08:19:43.870-07:00stupidly<p> I once wrote on here:</p><p>"doo doo curls<br />for doo doo girls"</p><p>and I was thinking about how there could be other friends for that couplet, so here goes:</p><p> </p><p>doo doo clothes<br />for your doo doo nose</p><p>you got some<br />doo doo pee<br />on your doo doo knee</p><p>breathe the<br />doo doo air<br />through your doo doo hair</p><p>you got a<br />doo doo drip<br />on your doo doo hip <br /></p><p>you're<br />doo doo late<br />to meet your<br />doo doo mate</p><p>sit in<br />doo doo class<br />on your doo doo ass</p><p>eating a<br />doo doo banger<br />in a doo doo hangar</p><p>eating<br />doo doo trayf<br />out of a<br />doo doo safe</p><p>doing a<br />doo doo pour<br />in the days of<br />doo doo yore</p><p><br /></p><p>I could go on...<br /></p><p>Feel free to add some more!<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-24387543455685028582022-08-30T12:21:00.006-07:002022-08-30T12:21:37.173-07:00demons<p> Which kind of dump makes you feel like you have slaying a bigger demon:</p><p>1.) A dump that is physically very large in size, but smooth in texture<br /></p><p>2.) One that's size is harder to measure because of its looseness, but is gnarlier</p><p><br /></p><p>Or maybe you don't think of your stools as demons.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-80424333231729050792022-08-02T06:50:00.003-07:002022-08-02T06:50:37.303-07:00purify<p>Would you say that there's a correlation between the size or effort involved in a dump and how much it purifies your heart and spirit?<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-79791012883701272872022-06-10T08:27:00.007-07:002022-06-10T08:27:45.533-07:00PPB: EVOO<p>I was peeing in a urinal yesterday throughout the day. It gives you a nice opportunity to check in on how the urine is. </p><p>I have to say: my piss really, really looked like a deep, rich olive oil yesterday, sitting pooled there at the bottom of the urinal. Not the healthiest color for piss, but it made me want some Mediterranean food!<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-75032908265724201982022-05-21T09:58:00.002-07:002022-05-21T09:58:14.369-07:00like a beached whale<p>I've been thinking of late about <a href="https://doodoobloggin.blogspot.com/2019/12/guest-post-guide-to-shitting-your-pant.html">this wonderful guest post</a> on this blog from a few years back. In it, one Poopy Longstocking compared her defecations to beached sea animals.</p><p>Now, my apartment got a new toilet late last year. It's a pretty good toilet - comfartable to sit on, more efficient (fills up real quick), etc. But one drawback is that it's shallower.</p><p>I have oft remarked here about the 2nd dump of the morning usually being a major one. And it is those dumps that make me also think about a beached whale.</p><p>Because of their volume and the shallowness of the t bowl, they commonly break the surface. And it turns out that shits that break the surface are ones that you can smell much better (see also the Euro toilets that have you shitting not into water but onto a board). </p><p>So rather than needing to visually check and see if they've breached the medium, I can tell quickly by the more potent smell.</p><p>And this is how my whales are beaching, thank you.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-59688130807738530392022-03-25T06:34:00.000-07:002022-03-25T06:34:11.592-07:00PPB: The Lure of the Shower<p><i>We'd like to continue with the first installment of our Pee Pee Bloggin series of 2022. Enjoy!</i><br /></p><p> </p><p>The mechanics of my mind-body are such that I never have to pee whilst taking a shower. And yet, I can't resist peeing as soon as I turn the shower off. Even if I peed just before the shower. It's physically difficult, and moreover it's just unsatisfying not too! Like, peeing as soon as you turn the shower off is so, so nice! Why rob yourself of this pleasure?</p><p>Also, the pee these days in the shower smells like some sort of porridge, which is nice and gets me ready to eat brekky.</p><p>Oftentimes I stay in the shower longer being like wait I have to pee and then I remember I must turn the shower off first to initiate the pee. It's a tricky system.</p><p>Anyway, I encourage you to pee in your shower today!<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-67763664790684979182022-02-17T07:52:00.007-08:002022-02-17T07:52:35.223-08:00we like semantics here<p> Is it correct to say that one shits <i>on</i> toilet paper? </p><p> </p><p> i.e. if your shit gets on something, did you shit on it?</p><p> </p><p>Or is shitting a more transitive verb than that? Are direct and indirect objects important in the English language? I'm not always sure.</p><p>Anyway, I like the idea that you could say to someone "I shat all over your toilet paper!".<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-50325200346613230392022-02-09T07:37:00.001-08:002022-02-09T07:37:04.451-08:00a tiny poem<p>doo doo curls</p><p>for</p><p>doo doo girls<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-80593872208610192542022-01-19T16:21:00.006-08:002022-01-19T16:21:55.437-08:00Poo Poo Patsy<p>I'd like to open a sandwich shop called Poo Poo Patsy's. The tagline of the place would be "Poo Poo Patsy's: Home of the Poo'Boy"<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3255555001772252902.post-34992514675553812822022-01-08T07:55:00.001-08:002022-01-08T07:55:06.965-08:00odd remainders<p>With Omicron, I haven't been leaving my house much. I went to Manhattan yesterday and ran some errands, had an appointment. It felt novel. At the site of the appointment, I went into a men's room I'd used many times before. A single occupant. The toilet had some piss in the water and a single round little turd in it. Also novel.<br /></p><p>Alright, okay, I mean I've seen other people's turds a million times, whatever. I flushed it, stat, and then I started thinking. This was a large enough turd to tell me it didn't get flushed and pop back up. Also the piss water. Forensically, what happened here was that someone left the piss and that turd there... and notably no toilet paper. If there were toilet paper and no turd, we could read it as a flush between those two activities. But this was the opposite, implying no TP was utilized by the dumper.</p><p>Men's bathrooms are just gross places anyway you slice it - the people who take a dump and don't wash their hands but do use the dryer? All kinds of shenanigans. But not wiping? C'mon now. Going out in public: it's real weird.<br /></p>Doo Doo Bloggin'http://www.blogger.com/profile/00794058081384633669noreply@blogger.com0