tremendousness

I was traveling this weekend.  Always an interesting time for crapping - not cooking in the way you would at home, new places to poo, perhaps fewer poos if you're busy and/or staying in a crowded place.  These things were all in effect.

However, I did leave in the city of Providence one tremendous crap.  In size, in relief it induced, in smell, in location.  Just all around.  Taken under the stairs (in a bathroom of course) of a historic building which was largely deserted, a very small room with old plumbing and a toilet bowl that amplified both sound & smell in a less than flattering way.  Felt right as rain thereafter.

And I became wistful for the parts of my life, mostly college and shortly thereafter, wherein I could be alone in a remarkable place, crapping the night away in a compelling fashion.  But these days I sure appreciate it every time I do.

brief tour

For those of you who missed the Doo Doo Bloggin 2012 Annual Report in July at Grace Space, I wanted to bring you all a little deeper into the fold.  These are a snapshots of my recent activities.  Nothing graphic, just some clearer perspectives on where I'm coming from.

There was a nice poo in the Park Avenue Armory.  The sign under the pipe said something curious but I can't read it here.

This one actually belongs on the pee pee bloggin site...

A very elegant bathroom for a post-performance doo doo.  In Park Slope.

In a very old building in Flatbush (note the nice crack in the door frame).  I had a nervous bowel thing happening before a performance.  This bathroom was a comforting space.

metrics

I have recently been sharing a bathroom with no one.  This is a new situation for me in my lifetime.  Such changes are, at the very least, good for reflection, and here is something I've learned: I go through, on average, less than a roll of toilet paper a week, even at present when I spend a good deal of my time at home.  And this is pretty long lasting TP, the Marcal rolls that you buy individually (the multipack rolls never last very long).

I'd say about a roll every ten days.  On average.
I guess in some sense I share the bathroom with the cat.

young stars of pooping, 2012

I am an aural person, this much is true.  I have been around 2-8 week old babies a good bit recently.  I like these babies, they're good folk.  I'd like to now draw attention to their pooping, and some sonic aspects thereof.

Just as the vocal chords of infants (and toddlers) are nearly as powerful as those of adults, only without the mental regulation most folks possess, the sonic potential of the baby fart/poo is unsubtle and brazen, just as an adults can boldly be.  Of course when your diet is just milk, things are different, but I've been struck for the first time by the sound of someone, anyone, audibly shitting through clothing (a diaper and a onesie in these instances).  Quite a powerful sound for the untrained ear, and I imagine not much different from the sound an adult would produce in a similar situation.

Just think of that next time you're around a baby.  Think of a grown up shitting their pants and what it would sound like.  I wonder if there's some sound-proofing built into diapers.

Here's More Mud In Yer Eye!

It's not a great feeling when you have a complete-thought-poop, defined as a poo at the end of which you have nothing further to add, only to be followed 30 or so minutes later by a completely separate complete-thought-poop.  You say to your digestive tract, "couldn't that have been a single entity?  did that really warrant two trips, two reading materials, two wipings, two hand washings?  what waste."

But the colon & its partners work in ways not fathomable to this author.  Stay spry, you never know what's coming next and when it's coming.

-Dudu

MVP!

In honor of LeBron's monster Finals performance, I took a monster dump yesterday.  Bigger discreet stools than my normal output, like three of them.  Congrats, LBJ.  It flushed okay in the upstate toilet.  The shape was a very stereotypical dump shape, you might call it text book.

I think it's important for fans for the DDB to know about George Brett's efforts in the pooping field if they don't already.  He says something at the end about a "perfect double-tapered shit".  I thought at for a while that he said "double-papered", meaning something about the wiping.  Recently, a friend, one BS, pointed out to me that it just meant that the shit was tapered at both ends.  Never would have thought of that.  Mine are rarely like that, but this monster was, to borrow George's phrase, a "perfect double-tapered" doo doo.

I am away #2

Up here in the Catskills, the toilet flushes are/seem to be not as robust as the NYC toilet flushes.  My feces, as a rule, is not so big that I would ever have to, say, break it up with a stick before I try to flush it (I know some folks who have this experience often).  I make a small or loose poop.  Also, in my TP usage, I'm the kind of guy who goes for few-small-squares rip instead of a big wad.  So it's rare that I have trouble getting things down.

However up here, things are different.  Things have gotten stuck on me on more than one occasion.  It's just too much to try to send the poo down with the TP, so I've taken to flushing the stool and then reflushing for the papier hygenique.  It feels a little wasteful with the water, but then again I haven't been flushing my pee pee, so that's a little better on the conscience.  Not a lifestyle facet I would choose, but it seems to be necessitated if I don't want to go grabbing the plunger (which I've managed to avoid with some astute toilet brush usage, gross as that may be).  This morning I had a tiny little poo that burned clean, so it all went away together.  More of that hopefully.