Wednesday, November 30, 2022

PPB: dunkeroos

Earlier today I thought about pissing. What if we thought about peeing as dunking pee in water and other pee? Like what if the most important part of peeing were the moment of impact of fluids? And every moment of it was like oh I just wanted to put this pee in this other liquid, as if you were running a test? What about that, huh?

Saturday, October 15, 2022

thumbs down

An odd thing in the last couple days is that when I wipe my bum, I have gotten a small bit of poo on the side of my thumb. 

My technique has not changed, and I think it's just the case that the current crop of craps has been coming out in such a way that maybe it goes higher up in my butt crack? I don't expect this to last very long, but it is interesting to be aware of the cycle that you're on in your excretion, made clear by something like evidence on your thumb. 

Don't worry, I've been washing my hands twice.

Saturday, October 1, 2022

stupidly

 I once wrote on here:

"doo doo curls
for doo doo girls"

and I was thinking about how there could be other friends for that couplet, so here goes:

 

doo doo clothes
for your doo doo nose

you got some
doo doo pee
on your doo doo knee

breathe the
doo doo air
through your doo doo hair

you got a
doo doo drip
on your doo doo hip

you're
doo doo late
to meet your
doo doo mate

sit in
doo doo class
on your doo doo ass

eating a
doo doo banger
in a doo doo hangar

eating
doo doo trayf
out of a
doo doo safe

doing a
doo doo pour
in the days of
doo doo yore


I could go on...

Feel free to add some more!

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

demons

 Which kind of dump makes you feel like you have slaying a bigger demon:

1.) A dump that is physically very large in size, but smooth in texture

2.) One that's size is harder to measure because of its looseness, but is gnarlier


Or maybe you don't think of your stools as demons.

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

purify

Would you say that there's a correlation between the size or effort involved in a dump and how much it purifies your heart and spirit?

Friday, June 10, 2022

PPB: EVOO

I was peeing in a urinal yesterday throughout the day. It gives you a nice opportunity to check in on how the urine is. 

I have to say: my piss really, really looked like a deep, rich olive oil yesterday, sitting pooled there at the bottom of the urinal. Not the healthiest color for piss, but it made me want some Mediterranean food!

Saturday, May 21, 2022

like a beached whale

I've been thinking of late about this wonderful guest post on this blog from a few years back. In it, one Poopy Longstocking compared her defecations to beached sea animals.

Now, my apartment got a new toilet late last year. It's a pretty good toilet - comfartable to sit on, more efficient (fills up real quick), etc. But one drawback is that it's shallower.

I have oft remarked here about the 2nd dump of the morning usually being a major one. And it is those dumps that make me also think about a beached whale.

Because of their volume and the shallowness of the t bowl, they commonly break the surface. And it turns out that shits that break the surface are ones that you can smell much better (see also the Euro toilets that have you shitting not into water but onto a board). 

So rather than needing to visually check and see if they've breached the medium, I can tell quickly by the more potent smell.

And this is how my whales are beaching, thank you.