Thursday, September 15, 2011

distinctions are important

It is not so rare for a person to, by accident, pee on his belt.
It is substantially rarer, in my observation, for a person to poop on his belt.

And that, my dear reader, is the difference between peeing and pooping.

Friday, September 2, 2011

le doo doo

So I've been to continental Europe twice now. I think it's a fine place. They've got some nice things going there, including bidets, which unfortunately I was not really in a position to try out this go round. I owe it to you all to try in the future, it's on my list. But that's not what this is about.

Whenever I'm traveling, I tend to have lower standards of personal cleanliness. Swimming is a sufficient stand in for bathing (be it in a pool, salt water, or fresh water), deodorant is rarely packed, and clothes can sustain myriad wearings before the notion of washing comes to mind. But my butt cleanliness is usually not a flexible thing - regardless of what I'm doing, I'd like for my ass to be clean after I poo. I imagine most people agree with me one this, although I may differ on allowable amounts of urine to intersect with the pants area from most men.

What I'm trying to say is that in Europe, perhaps because of their kind of papier hygiƩnique, that's my best guess, I wasn't always feeling as fresh as I would hope to feel. Maybe my angles were off.
Now, as was the case with me in middle school, it was often an illusion. Maybe I was just sweat from my butt and misunderstanding. But a number of bathroom repeat visits in which a cautionary wipe was ventured took place, and most of them, almost all of them, came back negative. So I was kind of basket case over nothing, you see.

This is very personal information, as you can clearly see. Now you know more of my secrets.

I will also add that Europe is way ahead of the States in terms of the variable flush toilets. Good on them. Let's see more chatter on that one, huh? I will close by saying that this blogger's significant other, who would be horrified to be identified by name here, noted that Spanish airport/train station bathrooms had very low standards of cleanliness compared to American terminals of transit. Thanks for that report.

Drop them like turds,
Doo Doo Blogger Dave