Sunday, September 16, 2018

Sophomore Year Abroad in Italy

This is incredibly sophomoric:

I was in Midtown Manhattan today and I saw this
Look closely at it.

I just assumed that if you went inside the building with your scaffolding, it'd be a place where they help you achieve your largest possible dookie.

I didn't go inside. I'm not looking to maximize, just enjoy.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Dump Burger #2

Hi welcome to Dump Burger, can I take your order please?

Yeah hi, thanks, it's nice to be back. Look, I was here one time before and I got a Dump Burger with chili and onions and gravy. It meant a lot to me and I've been thinking about it for a couple years. Now I'm back and I would like something similar to that, but, like here's the thing that I've been thinking about: could you make it looser? Like instead of a coherent patty of dump that's held together in a burger form and on a bun with the chili and the onions and the gravy, could I just get a runnier, more liquid, less patty-formed thing that's similar to a Dump Burger still?

Sure, of course, this is Dump Burger, we can get you that.

Great, that's great, thanks... can I... can I also get a fried egg on top, please?

Sure, so a runny, loose Dump Burger with chili, onions, gravy, and a fried egg. Will that be all?

Yes, I think that will be all for today.