new methods

Might I recommend that when you have to verbally indicate that you're going to defecate, say: "I'm gonna go see what kind of stool is in my colon"

a songs and a report

Okay so I wrote a first draft of a verse the other day for a play on "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" that would be called "Blood Gets In Your Stool":

They
Asked me how I knew
The color of my poo
Maybe it was blue?
As I learned in school
Always keep your cool
When blood gets in your stool

tbh I didn't check and make sure that fits the form of the original but I'm just gonna leave it here, feel free to add to it

 

ALSO I can report that my shitting has gone a bit haywire of late. Instead of the status quo of one large turd sesh in the morning and 1-2 others the rest of the day, they're all smaller. Not loose per se, but it's like the total mass that can come out at a time is reduced. I have a number of visits to the loo a day where I have large gas and a small bit of solid stool emerges, or many a moderate amount. My butt hurts cause it's been so frequent and much wiping. I don't love this new model and I hope it ends soon and I can poop bigger poops again.