Saturday, August 29, 2009


Can a person poop wistfully?
Or, what even is that?


Sunday, August 23, 2009

past it

Somewhere in the last few days, I broke through. Finally got past that post-California sort of backed-up feeling I'd been having. I'm now alternating between the gassy poo and the seaweed poo.

The gassy poo is a good thing to talk about. Often, when I say I defecated five times in one day, it will really mean that I had maybe half solid poos (big or small, whatever) and half gassy poos. Perhaps you know the type. Gas that feels too significant to not sit down on the pot. When you look at it, there's very little to point to and say, yes, that came out of me; maybe just some elements of brown scum floating at the top. Maybe a little small deposit straight down. These are the gassy poos.

The seaweed poo, for lack of a better term comes out a lot at a time. It's pretty loose, feels like it's going to go on forever, and usually has a high liquid content. When the flow stops, you're at first thinking, this is probably not really done yet. But after you get up and go elsewhere, it occurs to you that it was a pretty cathartic trip to the loo, you're pretty much cleaned out. This is in marked contrast to the gassy poo, which always comes in groups over the course of a day, and hence engenders the feeling that you're never done gassy pooing (until your poo type changes).

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I was in the Adirondacks, however, I did not poop in the woods.
I was on a Greyhound bus, however, I did not poop onboard said bus.
I did pee in the woods, and onboard the bus.
But this is not a blog about peeing.

I pooped. In a Greyhound bus station terminal that doubles as a hotel. Really quite fine. Feeling pretty good in the pooping department. A poop after a swim can be nice.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

waiting for doo-dot

I don't think I've ever been formally constipated in my life. Maybe the wheels are turning a little slower; maybe boluses are having a somewhat harder time finding their way from my intestines into the light. But I can always poop, even if it's only a bit.
For the last few weeks, things have been turning slower than usual, which results in more sit-down trips to the toilet with about the same total output. What I'm waiting for is that one cathartic crap that breaks the streak, opens things back up to normal output, and hence saves me those extra trips (and provides catharthis!). I will call this poop "doo-dot" (doo-doh phonetically), not because I never expect it, but simply because it's the first thing I thought of.

Monday, August 10, 2009

end of the day #1

Let's just say today was more of a gassy day than a true heavy-pooping day. Some tease-y poops.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Amazing! Went to lunch today and the topic of the last post, beet-poop, was discussed without me motivating it! Asparagus-pee too! The world is a magical, crazy place.


People often talk about the refraction period of urine as affected by asparagus. People talk (in my sphere) less often about the refraction periods of poop as affected by beets. I ate a delicious beet (and radicchio and mozzarella) salad on Friday, an my poop is still beet-ish. Of course, beet-poop is a beautiful, sunset-reminiscent affair, but there's that point where it stops being about beet and you're just like, huh, is that bloody stool?
Maybe I should eat more yellow beets if this dilemma is too much for me. But it isn't. I'll eat more red beets. Things will be great.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

First off

These little balls around the text field are poop. I didn't make them, yet they are poop.