Monday, November 29, 2010


I just couldn't believe how much stool there was. Again.
[see last post... still on that vibe...]

Monday, November 22, 2010

Bernoulli report

Recently, an inverse relationship had made itself known. Namely:
-the frequency of my trips to duduk on the toilet seat have decreased, and relatedly

-the aggregate volume I deposit inside the toilet bowl has increased.

It's like you only go grocery shopping once a week but you buy a lot, instead of getting just what you need for that day.

If this occurs in the morning (the release of aggregate bolus), then it feels pretty satisfying. It also (the big load-drop) makes the smaller, more routine but equally meaningful deposits seem less significant, which is an illusion. Llord, give me clarity, or at least some celery (fiber, etc.).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

quick (s)hits

1. Sometimes it takes some unpleasant flatulence to make you realize how much less often you fart than you used to. I suppose it was a social thing, growing up male with a male sibling and mostly male friends: farting is always greenlit. But I almost never fart outside the confines of the doo-doo room these days. So the last week has been notably for my general gassiness. That's a nice name for a small store: General Gassiness. Or a character. Feel free to spread that one around, I relinquish all rights on that name. But give me a little freebie when you strike it rich, huh? Remember who your gassy friend is. Hopefully it's just a phase.

2. After admiring some of my handiwork (visually) last week for its lighter-than-water properties, I was struck by how much a particular crap of the last 24 hours sunk. Everything's been so floaty of late, and now we're living on the other side of the bowl. What did I eat? Oh yeah... corn chips & bread that day... never really had dinner... thanks for nothing, road tripping. Actually it was great.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Why would you want to tell other people about your own stool?
Don't you think they've got their own stool to deal with?
Often problematically so?
Isn't this just talking to seem more impressive?
A notch in my belt - oh yeah, I blog about my feces, now listen to me saying that I do it?
Like having an experience more for the conversational capital than the actual experience?
Isn't what's best about pooping that it eschews such consumption? You do it so often and so viscerally that it often has to happen before you can get ready to, you know, scrapbook it?

Hence my focus on it: if I must blog, and I may not, I'd like it to be in such a realm. I like the small truth that comes quick and then gets flushed away, only to return later that afternoon in a setting halfway across the borough. Always a story to lead with, even if sometimes it's just politics.