Monday, June 29, 2015

bathroom haiku

This morning at work
a lavender-scented dump
I didn't make it

(came into my head just before I peed a little on my belt)

Sunday, June 14, 2015


I just took a dump, a dump that had been building for a while.  It was voluminous.  It was made of little finger-length segments.  And it was all greenish-brown.

Now, I've had the occasional BM where there's a texture gradient - it starts really loose and then there's a hard packed gem following it up, or more likely the other way around.  But what I've never seen, and what this voluminous turd got me thinking about, is that I've never had a poop where it started one color and ended another.  It's funny, there must be some aggregation of very different foods taken in that gets combined into a single dump, but is there a process of chromatic homogenization that takes place in the colon or something?  You produce different looking dumps at different times, but at one time, you rarely see something heterogenous.  Why is that?

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

At Souen on 6th Ave, one goes to the men's room, and one notices huh, there's bunch of toothpicks next to the sink.  And with a dump coming, one thinks, I could kill two birds with one throne.

And then one keeps this thought to oneself.