Thursday, March 31, 2016

Dump Burger

You go to your local Dump Burger, and you're like "Hi... hmm... I'd like one Dump Burger... and can I get that with chili and onions?", and they're like, sure, sure you can.  And you're like, "and can I get some of the thick gravy on that too, all over the top of it?" and they say yes sir.  And you go "okay cool and what sides do you like?" and they're like they're all good and you're like "but what goes well with a Dump Burger with chili and onions and dump gravy?" and they think about it for a sec and you're like, "you know what, listen, can you just like, I mean, what I want is if you could take a dump, just take a dump yourself, and put it in one of those little red and white paper containers that sides come in, do you think that you could accurately take a dump (I mean I don't want you to do anything unsanitary) in that and give it to me so I can have it on the side of my Dump Burger?".  Sure.  Sure, of course you can have that.  Because this is Dump Burger.

you can cut the cake now

I think my nose doesn't usually register the scent of a shit until I've wiped my ass once.  When you get into the fecal remnant on your butt hole, it lets you know it's there, scent-wise.  And then soon after that, you flush.