Saturday, February 25, 2012

say goodnight, ralphie

Regularity is not something I seek out. I'm fine making a poo whenever it needs to be done. There's often a sentimental attachment to BMing in certain parts of the day because this is how routines work.

That said, of late, I've fallen into a new routine, a routine I don't particularly relish. I've been taking a doo doo right before I go to sleep. That's one of my least favorite times to crap. Perhaps if you're a night showerer, which I am not. There's just something a little unclean to me about going to sleep having just moved your bowels.

This was not always my opinion of the night shits. I can remember at age 15 being at summer camp and thinking how the perfect day would end with a shit, a swim in a lake, and then bed. I think that was the order, it may have been swim, shit, sleep. Actually shaving was on there as well, I think it was the "shit/swim/shave", or if in a pinch the "shit/shower/shave". Any time from the late afternoon on, this was considered golden. There was some chatter amongst my chums about how nice this combination was. I'd appreciate a morning version of the "s.s.s." these days, but the evening one would have to be in a really specific place (geographically) to get me excited now.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

status report

My stool today, in the last two poops, has been remarkable.
1.) Color
2.) Texture

1. The color is beige-ish, kind of brown. For poop, it almost looks like it has some white in it, as if someone mixing paint was trying to lighten it but didn't totally mix it in. This is a metaphor though - the color is actually pretty uniform. You could say it's the color of a darker mustard, but again, uniform. Maybe the color of certain kinds of halvah. There are many types of halvah, you know.

2. It just looks so soft too. I've never used stool softener, but this just looked soft. It was longer than my usual chunks of poo are, a long, thoughtful thread. (I used to think that gluten just meant a kind of inner-food thread.) Like if you reached into the bowl and picked it up, it might be pleasant to hold.
Don't worry, I didn't, but it's worth saying that some poop just looks more inviting than other poop.