Wednesday, December 9, 2009


I've been having these intense gassy bouts in the last few days, particularly loud ones at that. Not unenjoyable, just not subtle.
I can remember freshman year of college being laughed at from the hall for such blasts. Understandably. When I rip, I rip bad.
It's hard when bathrooms lead to well-travelled halls and there's no door insulating. Huh.

Friday, October 30, 2009


I've got the craps! The loud, gassy, liquidy craps! Woooooooo!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

a promise

I've seen some pretty good concerts at Death by Audio. I would say that I like it there, hard as it is to locate. However, from the first time I went there, I've kept a vow to myself never to poop there. The bathrooms were clearly constructed as an afterthought, they're your classic converted loft bathrooms, up a step or two from the floor. They're covered in art, which is nice, but the toilet seats are cracked, there's a kind of moisture that hangs in the air, what toilet paper there is tends to live on the sink (which often seems questionable itself). The doors do lock reliably, I'll give them that, but really, it's not a great place for it. To paraphrase Triumph, it would be like pooping on poop.
Last night, I was there once again, listening and participating in a show. I was gassy, perhaps from some eggs with beets (not from this), but I was determined to wait it out. I will cop to having farted a good bit in there, but I did not poop. Ergo, this is a post about not pooping, but it was a triumph.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

recent prunes

Now, I've never been a person who notices changes in my bowels based on what food(s) I eat. I just press on. There may be great fluctuation in my digestive cycle, but I don't really pay much nevermind. My policy is, eat what you want to eat, and unless things are really explosive or backed up, you're probably doing fine.

Also, I love prunes. Recent discovery. My first purchase was at Elly's Market one night a year or two ago, and now whenever I go to Sahadi's, I get a pound or a half-pound of prunes (with pits). Last time I went there, the prunes they gave me were (and are) massive. Usually, I eat two prunes in the morning if I remember they're there, which is about every third day. I may not pay attention to my eat/doo-doo correlations, but neither do I want to tempt fate. Anyway, these prunes are so large that I can only eat one at a time. I got a pound and I'm about halfway through. I think I'll go eat one right now...

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I had what felt like a great crap today after dinner. I thought of a metaphor at the time of a pocket. Sort of a play on the idea of being "in the pocket" as they say in music. It was as if I had found a pocket at the end of my digestive track and gotten not just the contents but all the little lint out of it, everything was out of there. Wow. The back, lower part of my body was the lightest part of my body. It was heavenly. I was floating.

But then I went into a concert. Halfway through, I had a headache but couldn't get out to take some Advil. So I sat, and it started to be a little migraine-y. Still kind of is. But then the poopy feeling started coming back. I've had maybe three, four migraines in my life, but I find there's a certain connection between them and the digestive ouchies. My pocket feeling became a thing of the past, and there's some grumbling going on back there. Woosh.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

snot vs. crap

As previously stated, I'm kind of sick. There's a lot of snot, aka mucus, around my skull at the moment.

I think if the way mucus flows and the ways I try to get rid of it. It's not pretty. I like to stand around, usually above a sink, perhaps in the shower if I'm already there, and blow out through my nose. I discovered this a few years back as being generally more cathartic than using a tissue. The problem with the tissue is that you can blow only as much as the capacity of the tissue. When using a sink or similar receptacle, you can blow freely until all the snot is out (or until something better comes along).

My snot two days ago was almost water. I bring this up on doodoobloggin because it's like those times when your poop is almost water. How can this be? you think. I know I'm of a high water content, but seriously body. Get something else in there, eh? The flow may be different, although the urge to let flow is quite similar, and both mucus and feces have the great ability to make an excreter think Holy cow, what the deuce is inside of me?

Monday, September 28, 2009


I'm sick. This is not impacting my doo doo all that much, but sometimes it does. And frankly it seems like a good sign that my poop is healthy, if it weren't, it might be H1N1 panic time, right? Just wanna be a part of the zeitgeist. A terrible thing to be left behind on.
Pooped on an island (twice!) this weekend. A small island. In Boston harbor. Perfectly nice place to do so.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Oh, yesterday was a powerfully gassy day. Oh boy.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

new rooms

Where was it that I pooped today? Ah. Men's room, second floor of Gershwin Hall at BC. Surprisingly not that bad, despite general bustedness of bathroom. I'd been holding it for a while, so maybe it was the satisfaction of release, it's hard to tell sometimes. There's the physically good poop in the environmentally non-that-great place, and it's still a good poop. What you bring to the table is always more important than the setting, as every good writer should know.
Authorial doo doo.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

more vegetal?

The pooping situation at Br. College may be less fruitful than I had hoped. You see, my initial reconnaissance was during the summer, when there's far lower usage. Scanning the various library bathrooms yesterday, I was confronted with some larger turds which had been left behind, rather than the calm, clean bathrooms I had previously experienced. The ratio of people to bathrooms is not so good, and the usual spots (in abstract unis) in which to find good poop-spots have not really paid off as of yet. I'll keep looking, but I may be holding it more often these days. Then again, I did plenty of pooping at previous work position, at an music school in Manhattan with mediocre bathroom options (they've gotten better recently).

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Can a person poop wistfully?
Or, what even is that?


Sunday, August 23, 2009

past it

Somewhere in the last few days, I broke through. Finally got past that post-California sort of backed-up feeling I'd been having. I'm now alternating between the gassy poo and the seaweed poo.

The gassy poo is a good thing to talk about. Often, when I say I defecated five times in one day, it will really mean that I had maybe half solid poos (big or small, whatever) and half gassy poos. Perhaps you know the type. Gas that feels too significant to not sit down on the pot. When you look at it, there's very little to point to and say, yes, that came out of me; maybe just some elements of brown scum floating at the top. Maybe a little small deposit straight down. These are the gassy poos.

The seaweed poo, for lack of a better term comes out a lot at a time. It's pretty loose, feels like it's going to go on forever, and usually has a high liquid content. When the flow stops, you're at first thinking, this is probably not really done yet. But after you get up and go elsewhere, it occurs to you that it was a pretty cathartic trip to the loo, you're pretty much cleaned out. This is in marked contrast to the gassy poo, which always comes in groups over the course of a day, and hence engenders the feeling that you're never done gassy pooing (until your poo type changes).

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I was in the Adirondacks, however, I did not poop in the woods.
I was on a Greyhound bus, however, I did not poop onboard said bus.
I did pee in the woods, and onboard the bus.
But this is not a blog about peeing.

I pooped. In a Greyhound bus station terminal that doubles as a hotel. Really quite fine. Feeling pretty good in the pooping department. A poop after a swim can be nice.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

waiting for doo-dot

I don't think I've ever been formally constipated in my life. Maybe the wheels are turning a little slower; maybe boluses are having a somewhat harder time finding their way from my intestines into the light. But I can always poop, even if it's only a bit.
For the last few weeks, things have been turning slower than usual, which results in more sit-down trips to the toilet with about the same total output. What I'm waiting for is that one cathartic crap that breaks the streak, opens things back up to normal output, and hence saves me those extra trips (and provides catharthis!). I will call this poop "doo-dot" (doo-doh phonetically), not because I never expect it, but simply because it's the first thing I thought of.

Monday, August 10, 2009

end of the day #1

Let's just say today was more of a gassy day than a true heavy-pooping day. Some tease-y poops.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Amazing! Went to lunch today and the topic of the last post, beet-poop, was discussed without me motivating it! Asparagus-pee too! The world is a magical, crazy place.


People often talk about the refraction period of urine as affected by asparagus. People talk (in my sphere) less often about the refraction periods of poop as affected by beets. I ate a delicious beet (and radicchio and mozzarella) salad on Friday, an my poop is still beet-ish. Of course, beet-poop is a beautiful, sunset-reminiscent affair, but there's that point where it stops being about beet and you're just like, huh, is that bloody stool?
Maybe I should eat more yellow beets if this dilemma is too much for me. But it isn't. I'll eat more red beets. Things will be great.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

First off

These little balls around the text field are poop. I didn't make them, yet they are poop.