1 dump is enough 4 me?

A very strange recent pattern has been that instead of my normal 2-4 dumps a day, I've had a couple days, not that many days, but a couple days, where I only have one dump and it's in the morning and it's huge. Not like one unbroken strand huge, but just a very large volume of stool. 

I can't say I am not excited about this trend. 

One way I can measure that it's happening is by the newspaper in the bathroom. I can tell it's been a day since I've read anything in it. 

I really think it's a superior model to dump a medium amount several times a day than to take enormous dumps sporadically. But what do I know? I'm just a dumper, not a doctor.

which animal?

I was walking by a small park near my apartment yesterday and I smelled a familiar smell. I didn't see any horses but I for sure smelled some horseshit. There was a little visual evidence of some to back this up. Horseshit it was!

Having not smelled any horse feces in a while, I thought, wow this actually smells pretty good. I liked to hang out with horses when I went to summer camp as a tween and horses bring back some good memories for me, so maybe it's more that than anything chemical. Though, if a horse is mostly eating grass and hay, I would suspect that stool would smell much better than say, dog or cat food being mostly meat. 

So I wonder, what are the best smelling animal feces? And I don't necessarily mean the least bad smelling, I mean what kinds of shit smells are most pleasant in someway?

purry poo

I mean what's the dang deal with poo-pourri? I just don't get it. Let it smell like a doo doo. What dishonesty is this? Can't we be happy to each other and our bodies? Let's deescalate.

choco sesame

One of the shits I took this morning had a fairly thick and paste-like consistency. When I went to wipe my butt, the first wipe really had this paste quality, and I looked back (I usually do). It had the color of a combination of chocolate and sesame, and I thought boy that would be delicious eh? A choco-sesame paste that you could spread on things or eat right out of the jar. And I was right. That would be delicious.

PPB: dunkeroos

Earlier today I thought about pissing. What if we thought about peeing as dunking pee in water and other pee? Like what if the most important part of peeing were the moment of impact of fluids? And every moment of it was like oh I just wanted to put this pee in this other liquid, as if you were running a test? What about that, huh?

thumbs down

An odd thing in the last couple days is that when I wipe my bum, I have gotten a small bit of poo on the side of my thumb. 

My technique has not changed, and I think it's just the case that the current crop of craps has been coming out in such a way that maybe it goes higher up in my butt crack? I don't expect this to last very long, but it is interesting to be aware of the cycle that you're on in your excretion, made clear by something like evidence on your thumb. 

Don't worry, I've been washing my hands twice.

stupidly

 I once wrote on here:

"doo doo curls
for doo doo girls"

and I was thinking about how there could be other friends for that couplet, so here goes:

 

doo doo clothes
for your doo doo nose

you got some
doo doo pee
on your doo doo knee

breathe the
doo doo air
through your doo doo hair

you got a
doo doo drip
on your doo doo hip

you're
doo doo late
to meet your
doo doo mate

sit in
doo doo class
on your doo doo ass

eating a
doo doo banger
in a doo doo hangar

eating
doo doo trayf
out of a
doo doo safe

doing a
doo doo pour
in the days of
doo doo yore

I could go on...

Feel free to add some more!