Saturday, June 23, 2012

MVP!

In honor of LeBron's monster Finals performance, I took a monster dump yesterday.  Bigger discreet stools than my normal output, like three of them.  Congrats, LBJ.  It flushed okay in the upstate toilet.  The shape was a very stereotypical dump shape, you might call it text book.

I think it's important for fans for the DDB to know about George Brett's efforts in the pooping field if they don't already.  He says something at the end about a "perfect double-tapered shit".  I thought at for a while that he said "double-papered", meaning something about the wiping.  Recently, a friend, one BS, pointed out to me that it just meant that the shit was tapered at both ends.  Never would have thought of that.  Mine are rarely like that, but this monster was, to borrow George's phrase, a "perfect double-tapered" doo doo.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I am away #2

Up here in the Catskills, the toilet flushes are/seem to be not as robust as the NYC toilet flushes.  My feces, as a rule, is not so big that I would ever have to, say, break it up with a stick before I try to flush it (I know some folks who have this experience often).  I make a small or loose poop.  Also, in my TP usage, I'm the kind of guy who goes for few-small-squares rip instead of a big wad.  So it's rare that I have trouble getting things down.

However up here, things are different.  Things have gotten stuck on me on more than one occasion.  It's just too much to try to send the poo down with the TP, so I've taken to flushing the stool and then reflushing for the papier hygenique.  It feels a little wasteful with the water, but then again I haven't been flushing my pee pee, so that's a little better on the conscience.  Not a lifestyle facet I would choose, but it seems to be necessitated if I don't want to go grabbing the plunger (which I've managed to avoid with some astute toilet brush usage, gross as that may be).  This morning I had a tiny little poo that burned clean, so it all went away together.  More of that hopefully.

Friday, June 15, 2012

I am away #1

I have been away since Monday, and in this time period there has been a distinct dark green color to my faeces.

One asks: is it my diet or is it the place?