the penguins who poop in private*

While pooping at work, I tend to try to seclude myself as much as possible. For my second shit of my work shift today, I mixed it up and used the multi-stall room. And what a delight! There was someone (I think? or the idea of a person was enough anyway) in the next stall, I rather than trying to hide my shit from them, I gave them some insights into what's going on with me. They got to learn about how my guts are doing and how I wipe from the sonic evidence. What a grand and intimate portrait we give of ourselves when we take care and share a bathroom! Sure, the isolation is great to say your piece privately sometimes, but think of what you might share, think of what you might learn!

*This was one of a series of parties vying for power in a fantasy world that a babysitter of mine created for/with me & my brother when I was maybe 6-8 and my brother was 8-10. My brother liked to poop with a large amount of privacy, and Penguins hockey was a big deal back then & there

that coffee smell

Is a coffee shit a thing? I'm not a coffee drinker so I don't know.

At work this morning, I went into a single stall bathroom that had recently been occupied by someone for a length of time appropriate for a shit. A bit later I went in to wash my hands. The smell was redolent of coffee mixed with shit. And I thought, oh, when you drink coffee, I think it promotes shitting (I remember a UCB sketch to this effect, maybe that's not real either), and if it does that, maybe it changes the chemicals in the shit to smell like coffee. Or maybe some coffees do this with some guts. I like that this could be totally a real thing or something that I completely made up. Help?

scrapies pt 2

Q: what do we like?
A: we like poo poo scrapies!
Q: why do we like them?
A: it's hard to say!

Five years ago I said that it might be hard to be dignified when someone's seen the turd marks you left on a toilet bowl. But now I don't know if I agree with that. I think there's an intimacy to it. It's like when someone you know takes a shit before you go into the bathroom; it's not so much unpleasant as it is intimate, you know an intimate smell that that person makes. So too with the visual fecal remnant as the olfactory one.

Two other perks about poo poo scrapies are that there's a kind of archeological experience to finding and understanding them. What happened? What can it teach us? And if you are a standing urinator, there's a great game to be played there in trying to remove them. So let's give a cheer for minor fecal remnant on a toilet bowl aka poo poo scrapies!

120 months of doo doo

Haven't been sure how to note this fact, but as of this month, this blog has been steadily pooting away for 10 years. There's no other creative activity I've done for so long in such a consistent format.

When you read the first ever post on this blog, it refers to a wall paper that's not there anymore, so it's not a very interesting post. Before starting this blog, I had initially made a Twitter account where I was going to tweet every time or at least most times I pooped and just note that, but I wasn't ready for Twitter in 2009 (took me til 2014).

Anyway, in that spirit, I'm not gonna attempt any nostalgia or grand summation, but will simply relate that this morning, when defecating, I did a rare kind of shit for me, which is one that is much wider in the part that exits first, and then tapers. It came out rather forcefully. That was a novelty at 7:30 this morning.

Hope you're shitting well, and I plan to keep talking about how I'm shitting.

Yours,
Dave