I started a TikTok channel this summer. I've had a few posts on there that mention feces, diapers, etc. I can't help myself.
I have a quiet hope that something I do that's doo doo adjacent on there goes viral, and then my co-workers and people would be like wait did I just see you on TikTok singing about Doo Doo Cheese? And I'd be like of course you did, why wouldn't you?
It's nice to let people know who you are, you know?
I remember my junior year of college being in a dance performance (I was in the band & wrote the music, a trio for clarinet, trombone, & melodica). Backstage before or after a show, two friends of mine in someone else's piece were talking about their butt wiping proclivities. I forget the specific number, but one of them said that for an average dump, they use x squares of toilet paper. I think it was five. Maybe three. I was like, yeah that's a reasonable number, I'm similar, but it didn't say out loud. I wasn't as publically poop positive in those days.
I'm thinking about that now, and thinking, wow, I use more than I used to. Maybe there's more hair in my butt? Maybe the shape of my butt has changed? Maybe the sensitivity of my skin has changed, and I'm differently calibrated now? Maybe the toilet paper has changed (I don't like that multilayer fluffy stuff, I buy a big thing of Scott 1000)?
I feel a little guilty about using a larger amount of TP, but the reality is, that's how much I need to feel like my butt is actually clean. Maybe my butt just wasn't as clean before?
Also, I know it's weird that I'm posting three things in one day, but I had all these thoughts today while walking around Manhattan.
I'd like to see some research & conversation out there on the dialectic between cutie pies and doodie pies. There's something there, and no one's talking about it!
Did anyone watch White Lotus? I just finished the final episode of season one. There's a very mild spoiler ahead:
It seemed to me that when Armand took a dump into the suitcase, it was really just him sticking his butt out and then they did some digital animation of two turds dropping a-from his butthole.
On the one hand, I'm so pleased we have this technology, turdimation. On the other, it seems like you could make that much more cheaply with actual human stool.
It's like when I learned for my cousin that the sheep in several scenes of Brokeback Mountain were digital...
I have often remarked that this blog is indeed hey doo doo blog, a blog about poop, and not a pee pee blog, a blog about urine. Though Pee Pee Bloggin has a nice ring to it. That said, lately I find myself thinking much more about piss that shit. Why is that?
There's definitely something about shitting only in one place as has been happening in the last 16 months, that makes me think less about stool than usual. At the same time, my urine output has changed because I can drink water anytime I want and then pee virtually anytime I want which is just lovely. As result, I pee, frankly, a lot [IP Frankly is my new name]. So I find that my whims, my little thought doodles, are much more about pee pee than about doo doo. And for that, dear reader, I apologize. You came here for Doo Doo Bloggin, and that's what I aim to deliver. I find I'm tweeting a lot about this recently and I wonder if people who don't know me that well scratch their heads. Whatever. Excretion: we like it all.
I had a fun thought yesterday: it would be great to make a slack channel where you work called #stool, post one photo of some stool (could be yours or whatever), make it public but don't invite anyone, and see how long it takes for anyone to notice. Could be a nice way to quit a job you don't like. I don't especially fancy photos of stool, but more to the point I don't like slack and it seems like people should use it for more whimsical & chaotic purposes. Actually the best outcome would be a functioning channel where people actually posted photos of stool as if they were cat photos or transit updates.
I felt today a feeling I don't often feel, which is that in defecating, I was giving something up. To whom, I do not know. What I would do with it if I didn't shit it out, I also do not know. It wasn't exactly possessiveness either or territoriality. But maybe a big sadness that you're always imperfect, always have more shit to excrete, and you can never be at stasis. And the surrendering of this thing that seems like part of your body, at least temporarily, is a small tragedy. Just musing here.
