Doo Down Buster #1

Doo Doo Bloggin' is pleased to present our first ever guest shitter, Mr Brian McCorkle, a man learned in the ways of the stools.  The aptly initialed BM is currently on assignment Down Under, and he will be bringing us the straight dish on pooping in Oz in the coming weeks.  Without further ado-doo, take it away, BM:

3.9.2013 12:20am

It just slipped out, nothing unusual about it (other then the mars dust color). The strange ribs purchased for me by a policy language copywriter for the Australian government and the chinese food purchased generously by my employers/cast members/friends surprisingly made no effort to remain inside those bowels, they just, SHWOOP.

I was reading the Adelaide Festival program so I kept reading, thinking, "there's more to come," but it never came. Upon finishing the program and tossing it to the side into the hallways of my ridiculously lavish lodgings, I was faced with a choice: half-circle flush or whole-circle flush.

I was also struck by the fact that though I had claimed (and others have confirmed) that toilets in Australia (or anywhere in the Southern Hemisphere, I think) flush the other way, I wouldn't know the difference.

Once I was approached by a professor of physics to write a program which randomly selected pictures of galaxies and catalogued the direction of spin (or lack thereof). What an interesting coincidence that I should find myself once again cataloguing spin, albiet in a much more "worldly" context. But I digress.

My first flush (at least that I wasn't too jetlagged and drunk to pay attention to) to settle once and for all the direction of toilet spin in Australia and if the spin of water in a porcelain bowl is the same across the surface of the Earth or if gravity has something polarizing to say (and it usually does). However this particular toilet flushed in an unusual way, it shot water down the center of the toilet while simultaneously raising the water level so that the spin of the flush was nearly impossible to discern. I remembered this being the case, to my great disappointment, many years earlier as a young choir-boy visiting Australia. I gave up then, but I am not so easily daunted these days.

I performed a more direct experiment with water-spin the next day (video to come), plugging up the drain in my sink and seeing how the water spun into it when I pulled it out. Result: counter-clockwise.

Is it different from the Northern Hemisphere? Nearly impossible to say. Perhaps I will learn. In the meantime there are many interesting doos to bust, and I look forward to them.

Doo Down Buster,

Brian